Shattered and alone..

And when it rains on this side of town
It touches everything
Just say it again and mean it
We don't miss a thing
You made yourself a bed at the bottom
of the blackest hole
and convinced yourself
that it's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore

and no how could you do it
I never saw it coming
I need an ending
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain

And when it rains
You always find an escape
Just running away
From all of the ones who love you
From everything
You made yourself a bed at the bottom
Of the blackest hole
And you'll sleep till May
You'll say that you don't want to see the sun anymore

and no how could you do I never saw it coming
I need an ending
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain

Take these chances to turn it around
Take these chances we'll make it somehow
And Take these chances and turn it around
Just turn it around.

and no how could you do it
I never saw it coming
no how could you do it
I never saw it coming
no how could you do it
I never saw it coming and
I need an ending
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain

You can take your time, take my time.-Paramore..

My heart is ripped,distant,hard and cold.
if you would listen without judging you may begin to understand
why
i hate this so much
this life isn't what i had imagined
damned cursed abandoned is what i feel
you chose to throw away what you know is right for what you feel is good

Is this what you want
is this who you are
why now?

did we leap in to the unknown
were we destined, were we chosen?
did we push this, this life of no satisfaction

i look at you and wonder only to be hurt
youve broken me
youve left me in a place of abandonment
how could you?

impure immoral promiscuous unchaste
youve messed up
broken what was supposed to be sacred

is this what you want
is this who you are
why now?

My only thought of you cannot begin to form into words
hatred anger unforgiving emotions have over come me
why?
i will never understand
whats done is done,not turning back now
you have created this in me
you've broken me

Why now.....

Comments

Leeland Ezra

As some of you may know, Leeland was diagnosed with a genetic disorder called Nuerofibromatosis (NF1) at 6 months. At the time he presented with 1 side effect (at 6 months) he is now 3 and between the time when he was first diagnosed and now he has shown 6 new signs of NF1. Here’s a little info on Nuerofibromatosis. Nuerofibromatosis is caused by genetic defects that either are passed on by a parent or occur spontaneously at conception. The specific genes involved depends on the type of nuerofibromatosis. In this case neither my husband nor I carry the gene. And Leeland has NF1 NF1 gene is located on Chromosome 17 this gene produces a protein called nuerofibromin, that helps regulate cell growth. The mutated gene causes a loss of nuerofibromin, which allows cells to grow uncontrolled. What is NF1? It’s a genetic disorder that causes tumors to grow on nerve tissue. —Brain —Spine —Nerves Tumors are usually benign, but can sometimes become ...

Leeland ❤️

Wow, where do I begin.... We have been going 100 miles an hour it seems, life has really just been flying by. And it seems like every time I think about writing, something else happens. I don’t know about everyone else, but being a Mom is exhausting lol. Whew!! Let’s start back in December, day after Christmas. Leeland had a scheduled hearing test, and it was determined he was unable to hear at a normal level. Right after that appointment (same day) he saw the ENT who determined leelands hearing issue was due to retained fluid in both ears. No infection, which meant he would need to get tubes placed to constantly drain both ears. Leeland has a speech delay which has also been a side effect of the fluid build up in both ears. So we set a surgery date in January for tubes and then a month after a retest for hearing. January 15th came and Leeland did awesome in surgery. Almost immediately after...

Breathe....

As i sit here staring at my screen, while James Arthur plays in the back. all i think about it my bed, why in the world am i even doing this right now, i'm so damn exhausted. But all 5 of my children are sleeping so peacefully and i may never get a chance to type this before the month is over. You see how well i am keeping up with this huh? Where to begin hmm. Lets start with this, Ezra our 2 year old broke his femur over the summer, 6 long weeks in a Spica cast was a really stressful time. the first few weeks after breaking his leg i literally slept like 12 hours IN TWO WEEKS. why am i not dead right now?!?!haha, no seriously. As tomorrow's tasks begin, the months days come to a screeching halt. It is almost fall ladies and gents, and who doesn't love the hell out of Pumpkin flavored everything.. So long August, you were a hell of a bitch to get through ..

Cecily

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