"Thats just the way my family is"

    I'd like to begin with saying,

                          "Don't let people treat you poorly because you love them".

  

  In the past 7 years i have learned a lot about "Family dynamics" from merging my family with my husbands. It has been an interesting 7 years let me tell you.. Some things i have learned about peoples view on "family dynamics"  is they are not always the best thing AND i really believe people believe they are doing well when they treat someone the way they treat them.. With that being said, i have learned a lot of what to do and what not to do.. 

     Let me tell you, i was raised in a home that exhibited love, weather it was love through discipline or genuine love.. I can not remember a specific time i went without communicating how i felt about a certain thing or situation. Growing up in a house full of sisters one older than me and four younger than me + two of my cousins  and one little brother. Chaos is one of many words that described our household, every one was constantly busy. My mom was everywhere, from softball practices to Wednesday night youth group to family vacations ... Communication was vital, i mean how else was Mom supposed to know where we were and how we were getting home.. haha  it was a tight ship my parents ran, and they ran it pretty well. Digging deeper now, can you imagine a house full of girls?!  YES tons of drama and bossiness, we all have had our share of bickering and fights. But we NEVER let it separate us, it didn't come between us. Till this day we are still all pretty tight, we still bicker and all but we love each other unconditionally.  

    Fast forwarding to adult life, i now have my own family and share my family with my husband. He sees where i come from and how my family "works" and i couldn't feel more comfortable with the way he sees us.. We love through times of hardship, we come together in times of need, we build up when we are down. We have tough conversations and confrontations, very seldom do we ignore issues and i mean VERY SELDOM.. Its just not a thing with us. Now i understand, that alot of families are NOT like this. I am very fortunate and blessed with a family like this, i am aware..
And it has taken me at least 7 years to compartmentalize the family i married into. I've put my self into situations, with seeking a ultimate goal of reconciliation and have gotten slapped in the face with the reality of "hey we are not your people"..  I have loved and still love people through their mess, i have been treated like an outsider for far to long.. But you know what that's okay, i know now. That NOT EVERY FAMILY is like mine.. Maybe I've been coddled my whole life, maybe i'm so used to things being a certain way i cant see around it.. What i do know is i will not let people treat me or my family poorly because we love them..
   I have heard enough of the "that's just the way my family is"  "i didn't do anything to them, so i wont be the first to talk to them" We live in a world where families are divided because of pride and selfishness. Families rather deal with sweeping issues under the rug and not seeing someone because that rather not deal with the mess. My husband is a HUGELY opposed to confrontation.. Goodness he rather go weeks, Months even without talking to certain people.. and his excuse is "that's just the way i am" .. I m like Babe i get, but i sleep better at night knowing that no one has an axe to grind with me.. Like i said before that's just the way i am i guess.
  This is something i have been thinking about a lot lately and there is SO much more i could put towards this but i think i will stop here... till next time.