Skip to main content

only love can hurt like this...

     In life  we all go through rough patches, some longer than others. its those rough patches that grow us, mold us into the people we become. Broken hearts are the most awful things to endure, being torn between making others happy and being happy yourself. something people experience on a daily bases, but what about that broken heart do we learn .. what do we take away from that pain? No one wants to live a life and not be happy, lately ive seen this quote from a reality star thrown around. "living my best life" everyone wants to live their best life, we do.. In a relationship, a committed one at that we are "living our best life" well i'd like to think that we are. But what changes? why do people go from "living their best life", to simply not living for themselves at all?  does that make sense? i like to think that my self worth is actually something that i thrive on. I loved to be "wined and dined" as they say, i am actually a HUGE romantic. i love quality time and physical touch.  SORRY, if i sound like i'm throwing my self out there lol but ill get to the point.
    I'm in a season in my life where i feel, under appreciated, under valued and just not really worth very much. There are some significant instances in my life more recently that have taken place. which i wont mention for privacy reasons. But have left me in a million pieces, mentally and emotionally. And i'm just wondering where do i go from here, where do people go from a broken heart? Can i just leave my hearts broken pieces to mend themselves, its to painful to put back together. I wake up every morning as i'm reminded by moments over played in my head, of things happening that i could never for see.. why must this life be so raw and complicated... this is not living my best life because if it is i want no part of it.... that's all i have for now. 
   

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Leeland ❤️

Wow, where do I begin....          We have been going 100 miles an hour it seems, life has really just been flying by. And it seems like every time I think about writing, something else happens. I don’t know about everyone else, but being a Mom is exhausting lol. Whew!!       Let’s start back in December, day after Christmas. Leeland had a scheduled hearing test, and it was determined he was unable to hear at a normal level. Right after that appointment (same day) he saw the ENT who determined leelands hearing issue was due to retained fluid in both ears. No infection, which meant he would need to get tubes placed to constantly drain both ears. Leeland has a speech delay which has also been a side effect of the fluid build up in both ears. So we set a surgery date in January for tubes and then a month after a retest for hearing.      January 15th came and Leeland did awesome in surgery. Almost immediately after...
Post a Comment
Read more

Leeland Ezra

As some of you may know, Leeland was diagnosed with a genetic disorder called Nuerofibromatosis (NF1)  at 6 months. At the time he presented with 1 side effect (at 6 months) he is now 3 and between the time when he was first diagnosed and now he has shown 6 new signs of NF1.  Here’s a little info on Nuerofibromatosis.  Nuerofibromatosis is caused by genetic defects that either are passed on by a parent or occur spontaneously at conception. The specific genes involved depends on the type of nuerofibromatosis. In this case neither my husband nor I carry the gene. And Leeland has NF1    NF1 gene is located on Chromosome 17 this gene produces a protein called nuerofibromin, that helps regulate cell growth. The mutated gene causes a loss of nuerofibromin, which allows cells to grow uncontrolled. What is NF1?  It’s a genetic disorder that causes tumors to grow on nerve tissue. —Brain —Spine —Nerves Tumors are usually benign, but can sometimes become ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Breathe....

As i sit here staring at my screen, while James Arthur plays in the back. all i think about it my bed, why in the world am i even doing this right now, i'm so damn exhausted. But all 5 of my children are sleeping so peacefully and i may never get a chance to type this before the month is over. You see how well i am keeping up with this huh? Where to begin  hmm. Lets start with this, Ezra our 2 year old broke his femur over the summer, 6 long weeks in a Spica cast was a really stressful time.  the first few weeks after breaking his leg i literally slept like 12 hours IN TWO WEEKS. why am i not dead right now?!?!haha, no seriously. As tomorrow's tasks begin, the months days come to a screeching halt. It is almost fall ladies and gents, and who doesn't love the hell out of Pumpkin flavored everything.. So long August, you were a hell of a bitch to get through .. 
Post a Comment
Read more